So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
