so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
