I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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