My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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