I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
