last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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