so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
