Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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