On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
