i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
