What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
