i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I can't trust your balls anymore.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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