in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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