At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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