A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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