dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
