my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
