Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
