Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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