i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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