She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
