hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
