barbara walters just said penis...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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