let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
