bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
