So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
