she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
