she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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