I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
