We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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