Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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