Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
jump out the window naked night went bad
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
