After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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