I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
