Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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