I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
