she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
