It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We had sex on a dog bed..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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