Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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