i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
