This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
