I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
