Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
