piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
