1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
