watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
