Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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