I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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