My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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