Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
