dude i'm inner monologue high
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We are all done wearing pants today
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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