My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
