im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
