yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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