it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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