smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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